Reinvention on the Run: The Murrays

A Van Life Dream

Shifting to Chasing Ponytails While Running Half Marathons

This week, I interview the Murrays, the first van life couple I met on the road. You’ve heard enough about me; time to learn how others have reinvented themselves.

Pic. 1. Cindy and Dan Murray in Korea for their son’s wedding.

This weekly blog, based loosely on my van life travels, is still meant to encourage you, the readers, to dream, to take new chances, and to reinvent yourselves. You’ve already heard about how I morphed from a typical, home-bound, retired person, into an unconventional retiree who has Iived on the road as a nomad for the past three years.

If I can do it, you can. The real question is, “Why did I do it?” And why should you?

My foray into van life began as a national tour to pitch my first book in person to bookstores. A month after starting out, I met Cindy and Dan Murray in Frankfort, Michigan. They had bought a campervan and were starting a year-long van life adventure.

Why? To pursue a bold, personal dream. Forget ”Run, Forrest, run.” Cindy was going to run 50 half-marathons all over America. It was bolder by far than my book tour idea.

Pic. 2. Running Fifty Half Marathons in 50 States

All kinds of people seem to be reinventing themselves lately! Millions of people reinvent themselves each year in millions of ways, for different reasons.

Let’s look at the example of Cindy and Dan.

The Murrays, A Cool Couple in a Van

First, I have to tell you that Cindy and Dan are cool, as you can tell from their picture above. Their van, a silver-grey Dodge Ram Promaster, was also cool.

Pic. 3. Their Dodge Ram Promaster van

The running idea was cool. Even their dog, Lucy, was cool.

Cindy is a 60-year-old competitive distance runner with 40 years of racing under her belt. Dan is her easygoing, reserved blue-collar husband. They had sold their house in Memphis to chase this dream.

Most amazing to me: they did all of this without even once trying to kill each other.

Cindy’s running goal astounded me. When I hit 60, my body rebelled; I had to give up running. Cindy, however, was hardcore. Instead of slowing down, Cindy set herself an ambitious goal for a runner of any age.

Pic 5. Cindy on Race Day

She wanted to join an elite club of runners who finish half-marathons in each of the 50 states, plus Washington, DC. Under her friendly demeanor and easy grin lay the stone-cold determination of a competitive runner.

“What makes you so determined to run all these half marathons?” I asked, astonished. Cindy explained what pushes her to compete; it came from deep within.

“I want to win!” she fired back, enthusiastically. “Not just compete, but win!” “So, how do you motivate yourself in a race?” I asked. “I pick out a ponytail up ahead of me,” she said.

And then?” I asked.

“I track her down, pass her, and go after the next one, until there are no more ponytails!”

It sounded like a method of hunting down prey, but she said it in such a friendly way. “So,” I asked, “What do you say when you pass other women?.” “Oh,” she said, “I smile at them, and say something nice, like good job, or keep it up. Then I wave goodbye and pull away.”

Cindy flashed me the same sweet smile she gave other women after annihilating them. Out of 41 half-marathons, she finished 1^st twelve times, 2^nd seven times, and 3^rd two times.

Pic. 6. Having a beer after a run

Wow.

I love how women can be so competitive and yet so nice at the same time. “Do you get anything else out of running?” I asked. “Yes, all my friends run. I even make new friends at each race.” So among women, even if someone beats you, you become friends later?

I imagine a conversation like this: The woman she dropped says, “Aren’t you the woman who passed me near the finish?” Cindy smiles. “Yes, I am.” The woman smiles back and says, “Oh, you’re such a good runner. Let’s be friends!” Cindy agrees. “Oh yes, let’s!”

They hug.

Guys watching this scene scratch their heads and say, “I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.”

Getting Acquainted with My New Neighbors

While Cindy was off on her daily training runs, I spent some time talking with Dan and asked how they reached a decision as a couple to try van life. It took them a few years to think it through, to figure out what van to get, and how to finance a year on the road in a van with no jobs and no income.

Finally, when their younger son went off to college, they decided to pull the trigger. “Cindy had to quit her teaching job,” he told me. “Most people keep their house, but we decided to sell ours. We had no intention of returning to Memphis to settle down there.”

(As an aside, you don’t always have to sell your house to pursue a dream)

“So, Dan,” I asked, “While Cindy is training or racing against other women her age, and making new friends, what do you do?” Dan shrugged. “I stay busy. Lots to do.” ”But how do you meet people? Who do you hang out with?” That turns out to be an issue.

Like me, Dan suffers from what might be called “guy syndrome.” He is friendly, but it’s hard for men to make new friends as they get older, especially on the road and on the go.

A life lesson is that guys don’t warm up to each other and make friends as quickly as many women do. We size each other up at our first encounter. We don’t hug each other and exchange cell numbers, exclaiming excitedly, “It’s been so much fun to meet you. We have to stay in touch!” We don’t say, “I love your top. Where did you get it?”

Pic. 7. Women enjoy meeting and making friends after a race

You could lose your man card that way.

Being friendly with women she met at races was Cindy’s M.O., and it worked like a charm. Maybe men need to put their hair up in ponytails and try smiling at each other more.

To his credit, Dan didn’t just go along for the ride — he was Cindy’s biggest fan, the driver, and crew chief, with no hint of bruised ego or resentment at being the back-up man.

“That thought never even occurred to me,” Dan said. “It was no problem for me at all.”

I could see why they made a great couple and how they would succeed on the road.

Where Do Van Lifers Meet?

A key question people ask me is, “Where do I find van life people with no fixed address?” No one knows, because they move around constantly.

Try looking in Frankfort, Michigan.

The farm where we both boondocked was in the country outside of the town of Frankfort. The owner, Dan, a stocky, jovial man, owned and refurbished “skoolies” (buses) as a hobby. He professed to love having travelers camp on his land and share their stories. He parked us a dozen feet apart on a flat section in an expanse of lush, green grass. A thick leafy tree canopy overhead provided us with welcome shade in the summer heat.

In addition, there was a converted “skoolie.” The Hockings, a younger couple with four young children, were boondocking in it. Now I had also met a family living the van life, a rare find on the road. They had been on the road for years and were already van life influencers!

The Hockings had decided to jettison their careers, sell their home, and put everything they had into making van life work for them and their kids. It restored my belief in van life and self-reinvention.

I hope it restores yours, too.

The Big Dream – Cindy’s Running Quest

Still, even after seeing her gritty determination, I found it hard to believe that anyone my age or close to it could run that many half marathons in such a short time. Cindy had an ace up her sleeve, even in a sleeveless running top. She was turning 60. Instead of being 59 and racing against other 50-year-olds, she would be 60 and competing against women up to 69 years old.

She had plotted out races and dates all over the country. Their routine was to roll into town a day or two ahead of the race, find a place to park the van, get settled, and be ready to go on race day.

After races, they had a day or two to sight-see before heading to the next event. They planned to head north all summer to avoid the heat, then head south when winter arrived. She wanted to race all year long without having to battle extremes of heat and cold.

Who were the Murrays? Let’s find out.

Are They So Different from You?

You might be thinking that it takes a special kind of person to give up everything and hit the road, or to reinvent yourself in other ways. Like me, Cindy and Dan are ordinary people doing extraordinary things. Let’s take a look at their backgrounds to understand them.

Cindy

Cindy opened up to me and spoke in an open, honest, but pained way about overcoming a tough childhood in Rialto, California, located in San Bernardino County, east of L.A.

Determined to escape a dysfunctional home situation and build a better life, Cindy moved as a teen to Huntington Beach to live with her aunt, a successful businesswoman — a first step toward success and a sense of security. Next, Cindy went to college to study fashion design, which led her to a life working in the fashion industry in New York City. There, she met a wealthy engineer who swept her off her feet to go live in Italy and Turkey.

It was a fairy tale, until it wasn’t. She decided to leave him when they returned to the US with her first son, and then she settled on a new career in teaching.

In 2001, she met Dan. He repeatedly asked her to go out on a date; wary, she repeatedly declined. Dan was not easily discouraged, and persisted. They got married in 2004.

Dan was about as different from her second husband as possible. A Connecticut Yankee from a blue-collar background, he did not go to college, but is a voracious reader who learns quickly on his own. Dan repeatedly reinvented himself during his life as:

- A carpenter

- A chef and other roles in the restaurant business for 17 years

- Assistant manager at a big box store

- Manager of a chemical factory in Mississippi, Missouri

He attributed his successes to stubborn Yankee determination. Of his tough Irish ancestors, he said, “The British tried for four hundred years to kill us, but they failed.“

Dan is adaptable and has a definite knack for figuring out how to make things work.

Our Paths Diverged On Roads Less Taken

After Frankfort, as expected, Cindy and Dan went one way, and I went another, but we stayed in touch and followed each other via Facebook, email, and occasional calls.

Cindy managed to finish 41 half-marathons in sixteen months before the call of home grew too loud to ignore. They bought a house in Vermont, their previous favorite place. By December 2023, they moved in and began the inevitable renovations of an old home.

As you might expect, Cindy does not give up easily, and intends to finish the remaining nine races, including fun ones in Alaska and Hawaii, Nevada, and West Virginia, as well as races in what she calls “The Boring States.” Kansas, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, and Nebraska.

Also boring: Indiana, my home. But that’s us all right—flatlanders, corn fields, hog farms, and white bread. We’re also too polite to protest. We don’t like to make trouble.

Reflections on Reinvention

Americans are known as inventors, and we are reinventors as well. Most of us change jobs or careers at least once during our working lives, more than most other nationalities:

- Half of us work 10 or more jobs during our lives

- Younger workers job-hop at higher rates than older workers

- Being laid off is the most common reason to reinvent ourselves professionally

- Followed by seeking higher pay or more challenging work

- Burnout and boredom also play a role.

If you want to reinvent yourself, join the crowd. It’s more common than you may think.

Personal reinvention, like dropping out of conventional society and joining the van life, may follow a triggering event. Cindy and Dan’s younger son was going off to college.

My kids, already grown and living on their own, told me I could run away from home. They said, “You raised us and provided us a home for 40 years. Go have fun. Enjoy life!”

And that’s what I did.

Other common triggers for personal reinvention include major life events like marriage, divorce, death of a loved one, health issues, or retirement.

Personal reinvention seeks to address major issues. Deep inside, many people seek to:

- Align what they do with who they really are inside

- Find greater meaning in life

- Alleviate boredom, or

- Escape a job or a work life identity that no longer fits

Think about your own work and personal lives; consider reinventing yourself. If Cindy and Dan could imagine and build an amazing second act on the road, maybe you can too.

What dream might you be willing to chase?

Want to Be Featured in a Future Blog?

In upcoming posts, I’ll share stories from people who are reinventing their lives in ways big and small. If you’ve taken a leap — and want to share your story—please reply to this blog.

I’m curious to know who actually reads to the end of my blogs. If you read the whole piece, would you send me a note letting me know, please? There is a lot of “TLDR.”

Curious about My Life On The Road with My Dog, Mr. Bones?
Feel free to follow our journey on Facebook or Instagram (Carl Camembert Henn (@carl_camembert_henn) • Instagram photos and videos)

Pic 8. Mr. Bones meeting park rangers at Elk Island National Park, Alberta, Canada

Help a Starving Artist?

OK, I’m not starving, but making it as a writer is tough these days. Following me on social media is helpful, as is sharing my blog and other social media with others.

To attract an agent or publisher for my second book, I need to build a large platform on social media, soaring from 400 followers to perhaps 10,000. . Any ideas on how?